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FirmlyRefuse 26 - 18 Apr 2012 - Main.ElizabethSullivan
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| | I found this campaign (http://firmlyrefuse.tumblr.com) at Harvard to get students to think about why they are choosing to work for firms to be interesting, particularly given the themes of this course and our conversation today about grades.
Grades for me have served to stand-in for concerted thought as to what I'm actually doing here. I have convinced myself that if my grades are good enough, I'll have options because a strong transcript resonates across different realms of employment (this is essentially the point Ben made today about the fear of having paths foreclosed). No matter what it is actually decide I want to do with my practice, I consoled myself that having a strong strong transcript wouldn't be a detriment. Probably that's true, at least in bureaucratic employment fields where such factors matter, but focusing on grades has meant that I've spent little time thinking about my purpose in earning this license. This makes it more likely that I'll funnel into EIP, because it's easy and because I haven't really thought about what I would do instead. Grades aren't the only reason I haven't set about designing an alternative, but they are a part of it. | | | Those of us in Bobbit's Legal Methods section listened to one of his guest speakers (my law school memory is failing me so I forget her name and I do not remember exactly what she did--but she was kind of a big shot) explain to us how, regardless of what we wanted to end up doing, we should take the first few years out of law school to work in a big firm. She recommended this path for two reasons: the money which would help pay back loans, and the training/exposure opportunity. She specifically mentioned that when she left the private sector, she was better prepared than the lawyers she began to work with in the public sector whom had not spent time at a firm. This sounded great to me! A firm would only "open more doors!" After spending the first semester being immersed in an environment where everyone is bred to feel this way I really did not have any reservations about EIP. That blind sense of optimism is now gone and I will certainly be more cautious about my decision. At this point I cannot help but feel (probably out of fear) that trying to get a summer job through EIP is, after all, just a job since we would not have a license yet. How bad could it be to experience what it is like and, worst case, lose just a summer learning this is not what you want after graduation? I too am a neophyte and I really do not know what to expect out of a summer associate position.
-- MatthewVillar - 18 Apr 2012 | |
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> | I appreciate the discussion in here and elsewhere about the possibility that fear of closed doors motivates the refusal to rule out careers that might not be interesting, valuable, or even deserving of our efforts. That fear has certainly contributed to my various attempts at rationalizing my behavior since coming to law school. For me personally, however, fear seems to be an incomplete explanation for my continued reluctance to eliminate the large law firm option. I have always been a bit of an adrenaline junky. I more frequently court danger than safety and feel empowered by my desire and ability to engage in activities that would likely overwhelm or frighten others. Aside from my continued refusal to take part in any theatrical production (my heart is racing even thinking about it), fear has not been strong enough an emotion to prevent me from attempting my goals. In trying to reconcile the fact that am excited by the thought of jumping out of an airplane with the fact that I am repelled by the prospect of starting my own law firm, I've begun to realize that shame is a much more controlling emotion in my life than fear. (Admittedly the comparison might not be a completely fair one to make in analyzing the power of fear - skydiving requires only a single burst of courage while the success of striking out on my own will depend on a much more sustained effort - but I think it is useful to a degree to acknowledge the disparity in my approach to various fear-inducing activities). I am more willing to engage in high-risk, adrenaline-inducing activities than to stray from a clearly defined career path because the shame generated by failing the former is non-existent while, for me, the shame resulting from failing the latter is intense. I am inclined to say that this is a familiar emotion for those with grades-focused parents. It is more than a fear of parental disappointment - I am no longer afraid of letting my parents down. I think that, because I grew up in a success-obsessed environment, I learned to associate failure with shame. Perhaps many of you have severed this connection. It is something I am still struggling with.
-- ElizabethSullivan - 18 Apr 2012 |
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