Breaking the Mold: How Learning Pods Can Reshape K-6 Education

A good capsule summary, minus any references to literature or actual educational history. One route to improvement would be to give the next draft some connection to the literature. It would help the reader to give some background.

It would also be useful to point out that this is really homeschooling conducted by groups of parents, mostly therefore containing the in-built hostility to and deteriorative intent with respect to public education. The text proceeds as though the replacement of trained, certified, union workers by largely uncertified amateurs is an unalloyed benefit, both to students and to society. It would be at least worth pointing out why, for committed education reformers like Jonathan Kozol who are concerned with educational equality, this is another way to make middle-class parents indifferent to the educational disadvantages imposed on poor children.

The epidemic demonstrated to most parents why homeschooling is intolerable. Microschool class sizes are unaffordable to a public education system, available only to middle-class families with available parental time-budgets. To imply that the only possible forms of opposotion emerge from hidebound allegiance to the critics' own childhood experiences is not entirely ingenuous. The next draft would be stronger for the inclusion of some candor. Given that you had 200 words left over in a rather abbreviated first draft, there should be room both to include some literature and to give attention to criticism.

I also think that the most substantial route to improvement is to put this subject into the context of your developing lawyering. Are you planning a practice in this area, in supporting hiomeschooling clients, for example? If so, perhaps it would be more useful to write about your intentions directly, so that learning how to plan such a practice can be part of the conversation.