Worker Bees

The extended metaphor seems to me in the end to do more harm than good for you. The reader doesn't know for more than 400 words which part of your discussion is figurative and which literal. By the time you are attributing insect social behavior to "how the worker bee sees it," one assumes that this is all metaphor and it doesn't matter whether it is accurate biology. But the further you go the more it becomes apparent that if the description isn't factually valuable it isn't really valuable at all. It's moralizing from bee behavior, but having less to do with bees than, say, Mandeville.

In fact, bee behavior, based on genetic haploidy, has nothing remotely like primate sociality, let alone human sociality, about it. The beehive, when human social reformers get around to practicing pop political economy on it, is a symbol of communism. That's how Fourier used it, which is where the Mormons picked it up from, using it everywhere, including the Utah state regalia, to denote Association, which is the primitive communism Mormonism believes is divinely commanded, but is in temporary abeyance due to the need to get along with the gentiles. Like Mr Romney, you seem to imagine that capitalism is really what communism stands for. Or something.

So I think we could put that all aside, and ask what you're really writing about. Is it money, or desire? If it is desire, then maybe we could understand the confusion. People are confused about desire. Money is one of the things they desire, and because desire is confusing it is often not clear why the object desired is important, if indeed it really is. Perhaps by considering money a little less, the bees not at all, and desire a little more, you could take the next draft somewhere quite important to you.