Law in Contemporary Society

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Working within the Rigidly Ridiculous System

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Finding My Way Through the Rigidly Ridiculous System

 

-- By Leyla Hadi - 25 Feb 2013

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 I still have very little idea of where I see myself taking my career, but I have reached a point where it is something I actively want to think about and question, as opposed to how I felt at the beginning of the semester. Like I mentioned in earlier drafts of this paper, there are very many areas I find interesting, worthwhile, or both. Of them, I will probably edge towards working for LGBT, women, or immigrant rights, or in the entertainment industry. One substantial, the other only a personal interest. I think, if I am to work at a firm, I should either try and work in litigation or in labor/employment. If I ultimately want to go into public interest, having a litigation background is going to do me more good (even if a small amount) than a corporate/transactional background. Because there is always that gun to my head, I have to go down a path. Maybe working at a firm won't actually do anything for me; maybe all it will do is make me miserable. Maybe I will only truly appreciate the benefits of an independent path once I have been in chains.

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How the Hell Do I Get There

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To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.

- Soren Kierkegaard
 The short-term plan is less clear than the long-term. I know I want to do good. Despite my general pessimistic attitude about the world, and despite my belief that greedy rich white men will always run the world, I can make a difference, even if it impacts a handful of people. I was unable to reconcile living in a rigid, ridiculous system that can't be penetrated (and thus one which we must do our best to stay afloat), with the idea that I can still help a few people without sacrificing myself and my happiness. For years, I felt guilt for not moving back to Pakistan, and eventually dealt with it by saying I come first, not the people of that country, and because I come first I will stay here so I can live a better life. Which in turn changed my view regarding my role in the world into a black-and-white, selfish or selfless existence.
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The paralysis has finally ended. I spent this first year of school making the motions, doing what needed to be done. I was passive. Even though I don't know where I'm going, or even the exact steps of how to get there, I know I need to start acting. Talk to people, participate in everything I find remotely interesting, explore, reflect. Maybe I'm stuck in the system, most people are. But I've already broken out of one system. I now know I shouldn't throw my hands up in defeat within another.
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The paralysis has finally ended. I spent this first year of school making the motions, doing what needed to be done. I was passive. Even though I don't know where I'm going, or even the exact steps of how to get there, I know I need to start acting. Talk to people, participate in everything I find remotely interesting, explore, reflect. Maybe I'm stuck in the system, most people are. But I've already broken out of one system. I now know I shouldn't throw my hands up in defeat within another. Question, dare, not lose myself.
 


Revision 9r9 - 20 Jul 2013 - 15:14:30 - LeylaHadi
Revision 8r8 - 14 Jul 2013 - 23:03:27 - LeylaHadi
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