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MarcusStrongSecondPaper 4 - 07 Sep 2012 - Main.EbenMoglen
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The Politics of Home | | | So is the home’s value as a place of political and social growth as low as its financial value? I don’t think so. Despite my reservations about the new domestic workplace, working at home gives parents the possibility to spend more time with their kids or get more involved in their community. It also can inspire professionals or activists to network and find resources they may have not sought before. The home is also a potential bastion of education, where both kids and adults can learn more about this country and the world. As we recover from the recession, I think whether we shape our homes as bastions of constructive action or convenience, will shape their political power, as talking points or sites of social change. | |
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< | Word Count: 994 | >
> | Certainly an improvement
in clarity and force over the first draft.
Two components, one mostly stylistic, the other more substantive, are
still troubling me. "Value" is a word that has different meanings in
different contexts. I don't know what you're gaining by contrasting
plainly different meanings in the top and tail of the essay. What
reader wouldn't agree that "home," or even a house, has "value" in
different senses that are uncorrelated? Why is pointing that out
important enough to do in the rhetorically most significant parts of
the essay, the introduction and conclusion?
Second, there's a time scale differential in the discussion that
seems to me confusing. One time scale is short-term, "as we recover
from recession." Another is the time scale of your life: what we
fought about at home as I was growing up. The third is about the
transformation of work, and the scale is either decades or centuries,
depending on how much of the process we consider to be involved. Yet
the three time scales are mixed up—perhaps it would be right to
say, entangled—in a fashion that confuses at least one reader.
A last question: is "home" really the subject, or is it "family"?
Little of this actually seems to have to do with domestic
architecture, and much more to do with domestic sentiment.
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