-- CarlForbes - 04 Apr 2008 The Burdens and Benefits of a Broken Home

Introduction

Living in a broken home is a situation that definitely impacts young people in the United States. As an adolescent, a lot of my friends grew up in homes without a parent, mainly missing a father. I do not have to analyze this from the outside looking in because I grew up in Brooklyn, New York without my father at home. For some, living with only one parent can be a burden while for others it can be a benefit. I will analyze both the burdens and benefits of growing up in a broken home and will show that there are more benefits than one may think.

The Term Broken Home

First, an analysis of the term broken home may be in order. A broken home seems to hold a negative connotation. The term broke implies that something is not the way it should be. A broken home does not have to refer to a single-parent home. Children living in a house where their parents fight all the time may be in a broken home. However, the ‘nuclear family’ is thought to consist of two parents, therefore a house without both parents is referred to as broken. Why does a child raised solely by his/her mother have to be from a broken home? Who says that a child raised solely by his/her mother has any worse of an upbringing than a child raised by both parents. These questions will be dealt with, but first the burdens children face being raised by a single-parent must be addressed.

The Burdens of a Broken Home

My parents separated when I was six years old. As a young boy, with a four year old brother and one year old sister, I did not know what was taking place. My mother, siblings, and I moved out of the house we shared with my father and moved to a new house in a different Brooklyn neighborhood. Living as a single-parent with three children, my mother needed to work overtime to make ends meet. Therefore, I was placed in the position of helping to care for my younger siblings. I was given keys to our house and the responsibility of watching my younger siblings after day care and school let out. Safe to say, it is not normal practice in American society for a pre-pubescent child to babysit children even younger than him. I lost out on the opportunity to take part in after school programs, play in the park after school, and attend slumber parties at friends’ houses.

I believe that most of all I lost out on the opportunity to have my father around every day. Throughout my growth as an adolescent, I did not have my father to learn from. I think that young boys learn how to be mature, young men from simply living in the same house as their father. This is assuming that their father is a good male role model and parent. Although my parents separated, divorced, and my father remarried, he has always been a good role model and parent. Life would have been very different if he lived in the same house for more than the first six years of my childhood. I never had the opportunity to watch my parents interact on a daily basis, which would have given me a first-hand view of relationships and marriage. Instead, I lived through constant fighting and feeling like I was stuck in the middle of my parents’ divorce. Children forced to live without one parent are burdened with the task of trying to figure out what is taking place without the mental capacity to actually understand.

The Benefits of a Broken Home

The burdens of living in a broken home may seem bleak, but there are more benefits than I ever previously considered. I learned about the strength of a woman because of my parents’ divorce. My mother showed the ability to work, work overtime, and still make sure that her children were well cared for. She established that you can overcome any obstacle in life and be successful. She dedicated much of her life to giving us the things she never had. I cannot remember a summer break where we did not take a great vacation. Our vacations allowed us to learn about new cultures while solidifying our familial bonds.

One of the best feelings in life is overcoming expected failure. No one expected my mother to be able to make it on her own, but she proved people wrong. She successfully raised three children by herself, making sure that we all received good educations. Her hard work led to me and my siblings all going to college. The values instilled in me by my mother helped me persevere through the challenges of life.

Although I wish my father was in our home, I cannot say that I am not stronger because of my upbringing. My parents’ divorce helped to build character. I may have matured faster than I wanted to, but I also gained an appreciation for the importance of a good education, hard work, and close family ties. I learned early on how to care for others and be a selfless individual. My siblings look up to me because I was always there for them. As a teenager, I was directly exposed to the legal system because of my parents’ custody battle. My siblings and I were assigned a child advocate who represented our interests only. This event helped pique my interest in law as a career.

Conclusion

Children, like me, struggle adjusting to their parents’ divorce. However, the negative impact is often apparent. Ideally, I wish that my parents never divorced, but I cannot say that my life has been harmed by it. My situation shows that there can be a positive impact that you may not consider when first placed in the situation of being raised in a single-parent home.