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A Self Reflection: What's the Shame in Slowing Down?

-- By CodyHuyan - 20 Feb 2024

Introduction

What I miss most about Seattle is chatting with strangers while I wait for my coffee. I’d learn about what they had planned for the day, share their happiness about a grandchild visiting, or rant about how the Seahawks are playing. I lived in a senior neighborhood, so people seemed to cherish the pause in time coffee lines provided.

I moved to Vermont for college and took my first trip to New York in the spring of my freshman year. I sipped my latte in front of a floor-to-ceiling window and watched people walk pass. The world seemed to play on double speed without a pause button. People seemed always to be in a hurry: even those who took a minute to come into the coffee shop would rush out of the door after they grab their mobile order. No one seemed capable of slowing down.

I thought of myself as one who enjoys down time. Like I mentioned, I enjoyed pausing my day to chat with strangers. I enjoyed sitting on the beach and staring into blankness. But the more time I spent in college, I more I struggled with empty time blocks in my schedule. I overloaded on classes because I felt like I should be doing something at all times and there is always more to be done so free time isn’t justified. What changed? What’s the shame in slowing down?

As an economics major, I was surrounded by classmates who were gunning for investment banking. The most prestigious banks attempt to be the first one to secure the best talent and out-compete each other. Inevitably, the process gets pushed earlier each year and many students begin networking as soon as they start college. With the exception of some extremely determined students, most of us, including myself, had no idea what we wanted to do in our freshman year. I was not even remotely interested in banking, but I jumped on the bandwagon anyway – what if I become interested in banking in the future and my decision to not start early enough would close the door? When I had the option of taking a finance internship or working on a campaign, I took both because I feared leaving one out would somehow close distant opportunities in the future.

I want to use this opportunity to explore the root causes of my fear of missing out and incapability to slow down, which may be explained by a simple game theory model.

Insecurity

Incentives

Learn to Slow Down

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