September 11, 2001

-- By NadiaYusuf - 23 Feb 2018

Happy is the man who avoids hardship, but how fine is the man who is afflicted and shows endurance

I remember watching the 9/11 tragedy on the news as a child. At the time my family lived in the United Arab Emirates (the joys of being the daughter of a professor dedicated to his research). I vividly remember the shock I felt watching the attacks, realizing that I could have easily been one of the many people that were trapped in the building, as my family and I had visited the towers three weeks prior to the 9/11 attack. What shocked me the most however, was the association between the terrorist attack and my religion of Islam. This association confused me. Did they not know that Islam is a religion of peace? Did they not know that there is no way that this attack could have been in the name of Jihad? How could it be? It was not in response to the killing of Muslims by those who wished to scare people into not becoming a believer of the Quran, nor did the attack occur on a bare field, the date of the battle was not communicated to both sides, there was no formal declaration of war, the loss of women, children, the elderly and the ill was certainly not allowed in Jihad, nor was suicide in the name of jihad tolerated in the religion. Why then do the actions of those extremists, using the name of Islam to advance their own agendas dictate the perception that an entire nation will have on a religion, but the actions of an extremist Christian who entered a Church in South Carolina killing 9 church goers do not represent the perception of christianity?

It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. He knows but you do not know

Moving back to the United States for college, I realized that the effects of the September 11 attack still loomed in that, the perception of Muslims as terrorists became engrained in American perception. As a college freshman, my hijab symbolized hate which made those around me either unwilling to engage in conversation because I was too different or hesitant to get to know me. I immediately felt like an outcast and found that the only community that accepted me with or without a hijab was the Black community. Probably because they could relate to the feelings of being marginalized and discriminated against or maybe because like them, my skin was dark. Either way, I do not think I blamed people for their misconception. How could I when my peers watched the same news channels that I watched when the attacks first occurred. They grew up being told by the news, in their schools and by their leaders that muslims were the enemy. But still, I tended to wonder why at an age in which technology has opened our world to easy access of information people still knew nothing about the religion that they so feared. The reality was, I quickly learned, that perception is reality. If one is perceived to be an Arab or Southeastern looking man with a long beard or a woman is perceived to be covering her hair with a hijab in a manner that signals that she is not a nun, then they were perceived to be associated with the symbol of terrorism. As a black woman, I was quickly exposed to the effect of racial dynamics prevalent in the United States. I experienced the discrimination that came with it everyday. I knew that there was nothing I could do to change the color of my skin, but knew that in order to remove the perception that I I was a terrorist, I had to remove my hijab. When I removed my hijab and felt the nakedness that came with it, I finally knew what it felt to live life in America as someone who could love this country and not someone who was perceived as hating it. I finally did not have to deal with two swords, I only had to live life being Black in America.

The cure for ignorance is to question

Though my decision not to wear my hijab allowed me to escape the perception of terrorism, it did not blind me to the experiences of my Muslim brothers and sisters. According to the FBI's data, hate crimes against Muslims that were reported to police surged immediately following the terror attacks of 9/11. There were 481 crimes reported against Muslims in 2001, up from 28 the year before. Even in 2018, discrimination against Muslims in now the law of the land. With the legalization of banning muslims from entering the United States regardless of whether or not they pose a threat despite the fact that more domestic attacks are at the result of white supremacists than religious extremists. Now, for the first time since the Supreme Court's decision in Korematsu, the Muslim ban allows discrimination on the basis of national origin and religion. I find it hard to reconcile given my own personal experiences being. Watching my father always selected for a "random" search at the airport every time he travels, having a Muslim name myself and always being "randomly" selected to a search overtime I travel despite not wearing a hijab, not being able to see my own Arab mother for three years on the sole basis that she was not from the right country because of national security concerns was furthered by the Muslim ban. Turning on the news and hearing about two heroes being murdered for defending two Muslim women who were facing a barrage of anti-Muslim slurs in Oregon, the burning of religious centers where Muslim's pray (mosque) in Texas by an anti-Muslim group, and the bombing at a residential complex for Somali-Muslims in Kansas, made it hard to understand why then, Muslims were being persecuted in this country.

The good deed and the bad deed are not the same. Return evil with good

I tend to wonder if, the perception of muslims and more tolerance and understanding the true puspose of the religion, will allow people to focus on stopping domestic terrorists, regardless of national origin and religion. If this approach was taken, would the Florida shooter have been allowed to purchase weapons despite the fact that he posted saying that he was going to be a professional school shooter? Despite the fact that he was very open about the fact that he had racist views degrading Black people, Latinos and muslims? Would the FBI have taken action after being alerted twice, if he was muslim? In reality, it is evident that in Trump's America the Florida shooter did not pose a threat. He was not an immigrant, an African American and he was not Muslim.

Richness is not having many possessions, but richness is being oneself

How, as a Black Muslim American female, can I be proud of my religion and proud of my background without compromising my identity? How can I educated those around me on the true meaning of Islam the way the majority of Muslims practice it? How can I be a successful attorney and represent my clients without a hijab to cause the bias towards me to affect my clients? How can I just be Nadia, a Black Muslim American female?